A Tribute to Our Grandma

On Friday was the memorial service for my grandma, Catherine Margaret Friesen.  My brother and I were asked to write a tribute for her.  I thought I might post it here, in case you weren't there and wondered what we said... or, if you'd just like to read about one of the most influential women in my life.

The first section I read, and the second (after the *****) was read by my brother.  I've even included some pictures, so you can experience what the audience saw.

Writing this tribute has been difficult; how do we summarise how deeply Grandma influenced our lives?  Every attempt seemed insufficient because nothing really felt like it was really complete.

Grandma’s influence in our lives shaped us into the men we are today.  Most importantly, she prayed for us daily, and then prayed for our wives, and then our children.  She set an example of personal devotion to Christ that has inspired and encouraged.  She was a constant fixture in Bible studies and discussions; she faithfully attended church, even when doing so meant facing public transit in the middle of winter; she took every opportunity to share the Gospel with people she met, and; she served a number of ministries gladly and humbly.

It wasn’t just us she shaped with her service.  Our friends knew her as “Grandma,” and were often welcomed into her house in Calgary with only a phone call from us to ask.  She ministered to strangers with an open heart, friends without a second’s hesitation, and her family with sacrificial love.

Grandma loved her grandchildren deeply.  It was apparent to everyone who knew her just how much she loved all four of us.  I think that there are more pictures of her grandkids than of anything else in her apartment, and she was always proud of us.  No matter what we were doing, she was interested in hearing about it.  She was quick with encouragement, always first to give a hug, and she was always genuinely happy to spend time with us.

We used to spend summers at her house in Calgary.  It was there that we learned early on that with Grandma you had to try to keep up.  She was going to walk wherever she was going, and that could be a tough task for our formerly little legs.  We’d climb Nose Hill, walk to the grocery store, hike through Drumheller, and all the while Grandma was setting the pace.  She never left us behind, though.  She once did a fundraising walk of some length, and didn’t need to train for it; she still left far younger people in her dust.

Grandma was a baker.  Her shortbread cookies - “fork cookies” as they came to be known - were an annual treat in our house, and her “Grandma pies” were gone as soon as they were baked.  For a woman who couldn’t eat any of those treats, she couldn’t be stopped from making them.
I loved my Grandmother’s sense of humour.  She was one of those people who was unintentionally funny.  And she was usually game for anything her grandchildren suggested.  Whether it was riding a scooter or playing floor hockey when she was 80, going to see a Bombers game when she was 85 (and sitting on the hard metal benches!), or taking a picture like this one while on a family trip to Florida, Grandma had a tough time saying no when her grandkids were asking.

Grandma also welcomed into her life two granddaughters-in-law, and loved them deeply.  She was so proud of the women who married us, and was never hesitant to hug and love these women, and prayed for them daily.   She was overjoyed to meet two of her great-grandchildren, and covered their lives with prayer as well.

*****

Chris already mentioned how difficult it is to give a brief tribute to someone like our Grandma, who lived a long and rich life.  As I was thinking about it, I realized that it is sometimes the little memories that give colour and shape to our memories of people we love.

You already heard about fork cookies and pies.  To carry on the food theme, there were a few special things that we only ever got when we visited Grandma and Grandpa’s.  Chris got boxes of Frosted Flakes, which I don’t recall ever seeing at our house.  I got poached eggs and toast.  And we both got fresh raspberries off of Grandma’s raspberry bushes in her backyard.  (Grandma also learned the hard way that our dog loved raspberries off her bushes as well, but only once she had picked them and put them in a bowl, unfortunately at ground level)

Anyone who knew my Grandma well also knew that she loved sports, and that included pretty much every sport.  Sitting with Grandma and watching sports at her house in Calgary is another one of those little memories that stays with me.  I will never understand her love for baseball, but I do know that she had a better grasp on how any sport should be played than most of the professionals.

And I can’t touch on little memories of Grandma without talking about her knitting.  When I was young, I remember the sweaters.  I don’t think I appreciated them at the time, but later in life I learned the value of well-knit wool mittens.  I think Grandma could fire off pairs of mittens at record speed…

But it is the big things that really define for me who my Grandma is.  As Chris mentioned, she was always glad to visit with us and hear about what was happening in our lives.  Whether it was filling her in on what I was learning in school, or how my job was going, or having a discussion on politics and culture, I never had any doubt about whether Grandma was interested.  I have never bought in to the stereotyping of “older people” as closed-minded or out-of-date because of those conversations with Grandma.

And she never missed a birthday, an anniversary or any other event in our lives.  Without fail, I knew I would receive a card from Grandma and that it was sent with love.  As you know, she passed away on December 31, which was my birthday.   She had written me a birthday card and it was a fitting thing to open while she was in the hospital.  It will be the last one I ever receive from her… but only because God himself intervened.

Which brings me to the last, and most important, big thing.  It is where Chris started, and it is the only appropriate place to end.  Put simply: My Grandma loved Jesus and it showed in her life.  As I grew older and more mature, I began to realize the depth of her faith and knowledge of scripture.  Grandma faced challenges in her life, including health problems, but I never once picked up a hint of resentment or bitterness because of those.

And, as Chris said, we always knew that Grandma was praying.  For us, for people around the world.  Her praying wasn’t as visible as a card, or a word of encouragement or a hug, but it undoubtedly had the biggest impact.

Grandma lived for 90 years and touched people’s lives for all of them.  But her impact will continue because of the godly legacy she is leaving.  Chris and I are part of that legacy, and we are witness to it.  Our children are part of her legacy and we are blessed that they both had the chance to meet their great-Grandma.

We will miss her very much.  But we know she loved Jesus and, because of that, we will see her again.